Coffee. Life essence turned Vile.

SO.... heres the low down.  I drank my first cup of coffee at the age of 12.  I made a thermos full of instant coffee and took it to school.

I had not tasted, only smelled the rich aroma that seamed to linger through peoples homes, and everyone was drinking it.

I put the recommended amount of granules into the thermos, poured in my boiling water, and added milk and sugar.   The consensus was that after I took my first sip, I dumped the coffee out and decided that this was not for me.
    During a brief two year stint as a plumber out of highschool, my boss would take coffee orders and I would get hot chocolate. Everyone I had worked with at the time questioned my motive and eventually after a mistaken "theres no hot chocolate here for kyle..."   I drank a coffee and I didnt mind it.

I continued to drink the substance that seamed to grow on me ( much like beer, it grows on you.)
 and here we are today, me drinking a double double every morning and possibly 2-4 times a day depending on work schedules and availability of said substance.

anyone who drinks coffee can tell when they get a good cup, or a bad cup.  The standard in Canada is Tim Hortons. where people flock to in the mornings to get their cup of brown water that tastes like mud.
I do the same, so I am guilty myself.

Not until my early twenties did I know what was a good cup or bad cup.  I know which stores in town have decent java, and which dont, and some I cant even trust to drink the stuff. ( the shady, creepy restaurants that my co-worker seams to think I want to go to.)
Burned coffee tastes burned.  bad coffee is bad. expensive coffee is a status symbol and anything else is not coffee.

This is an example of the industry today.

The day that Tacobell starts serving the nectar... is the day I stop drinking it.  Im sure the image speaks for itself, although maybe not the most artistic, rather more autistic than so. this is the way society lives today, for that single cup of oil and water that seams to me, the most addictive and fulfilling substance on earth.
Mind you I have never smoked crack, nor ever will try to prove it myself scientifically that crack is less addictive than coffee.  Im just pressing a point.

Tim hortons coffee is bad.  we drink it everyday, and thats all their is to it.  sometimes you get a cup and you say "wow. this is fucking incredible... why cant they do this everytime? really... they just push buttons that release measured amounts of cream and sugar... what the fuck is wrong with these people?"

Most of the time... the coffee is bad.  I would rather wake up and brew a pot myself, grab my travel mug, and make a shitty mixture of columbia house, just to save the $1.52.   Thats not what I do.   I buy the timmies, everyday  between 8:30 and 8:45, because thats when I manage to get a block away from my office.

Will I ever drink subways coffee?  Maybe if I bought breakfast there after a night of binge drinking... still.  Seattles best likely rivals mother parker in quality.... now I dont know if you folks know this, but mother parker is a leacherous tramp, who sells cocaine to gradeschool children and put small pox in the blankets that were given to countless native tribes back when Canada was invaded by the English and Americans.

Starbucks: your standard roast is shit. I pay you 3 dollars for a large and you make me put my own additives into the cup. Its a Scam and a status symbol. Yet I purchase your caramel machiatto's because they are simply divine.  Your company is so well off that you dont even have to market yourselves in Canada, because in 1996, a prime time television cartoon sitcom made you famous in every Canadian household. that cartoon was The Simpsons.
Bart and Milhouse went to the mall, yet everystore was closed down and being converted to a starbucks according to the Janitor....   I have watched that episode maybe 3 times in my life, yet I will never forget that scene. Whenever I hear or think of starbucks... I recall that clip and now being older, can finally grasp what it meant.    YOU MUST DRINK OUR COFFEE.

So what purpose does it serve in your life?
In mine its a morning drink, a "pick-me-up" that doesnt seam to do anything to my body, and a social reprieve that is an easy go to option for: A - Dating,  B- catching up.  Its a drink you grab when your going to be in the car for more than 20 minutes or your going to visit someone at their residence and bring one to them.

The fact of how addicted we are to this substance is crazy. I have one friend who doesnt drink coffee.  he drinks a Tea when we arrive at work. ONE. only one a day.  He smokes cigarettes yes.
When I asked him why he doesnt drink coffee he told me this.  " I dont know, I think I have enough addictions in my life that I dont need to take on another one."
that guy is fucking smart.
S M A R T.    not SMRT.  thanks.

So to shorten the vibe, heres the summary.

Keep drinking coffee.  IT SHAKES YOUR LIVER. literally. the jolt you feel is actually the liver trying to process the liquid you just ingested and if you drink enough in one sitting, you can actually feel it.  Chances are you have before and didnt know what it was and just shook it off, ive felt it. It was cool and I say that without hesitating.

Next time you have a cup... think about it in a way your normally wouldn't.  Smell the coffee, taste it without cream, milk, sugar or sweetener.  Try different blends. At home. not from a store. perk it properly. you may be surprised.  perhaps your a columbian drinker, or a RICH, or DARK, or whatever specialty coffee's you may find at vendors.  You dont have to be a barrista  to know what a good cup tastes like to you, so get out there and try what you can.


BTW I had perogies for dinner tonight.   KTHXBAI