Saturday, May 14, 2011

it was friday.

So last night I managed to snag a date, it was really fun. Dinner, bowling, getting caught in the rain.  whole bunch of 80 romantic comedy bullshit, that worked out for the best.
After that ended, I didnt want to stay home for the night so I hit up J money on twitter, and he offered to grab some pints at the london tap house in hamilton.

I had never been so it was as good a time as any to drive the half hour to pick up J, and make our way over to the bar for some casual beers, and a couple rounds of MVC3.

the downstairs had NO service, and it was bullshit. I could have easily dumped 50$ into liquor at those prices and enjoyed the night even more, but NAH. No bartender downstairs, and the non existing ability to purchase drinks and carry them around to the lower section blew. Thats life I guess.  I understand why they didnt have anyone serving downstairs... probably a few reasons.

One being there was a group of about 12 kids playing smash brothers? And listening to fucking S club 7, and a bunch of other shitty music ( miley cyrus was in there)   how you can be nearing the age of twenty and listening to pop music for 8 year old british prosti-tots, is beyond me. Everyone in that room was a virgin, and was getting picked up by their mothers and going home to have an extended  super smash pop and chip sleep over.

I can almost smell the testosterone... if only all of the estrogen secreting from these lady boys wasnt throwing my gaydar off.

Anyhow, we managed to get a couple bottles down to us thanks to Drekken taking orders and shmoozing whoever he did to make it work.


Playing marvel with these new strangers was good.   They must jerk each other off because they both ran a DR,Doom anchor, and mashed the hidden missiles assist constantly...  they put up a good fight but im pretty sure as soon as I put wolvie on point.  they crumbled.

thanks to Justin for coachings.  your reads are beyond good.  Ive got habbits that need to be put on the back burner.  Online play.. guh.

Vince was playing pretty good. fancy mag combos. but all he does is sit at home and play games for the most part..  still a scrub. I didnt know what to think when he started talking about " yo I got so fucked up wednesday I did sooo many drugs and drank so much."  Cool boss. congratulations on hitting your first joint?

I dont see you for four months and you run a shitty weed brag...  thats content for a good conversation. Cheers "bro"

So back to my scummy ways. ( as i am a totally different person at FG events) I shit talk as much as possible..  make scummy calls for jokes, and had a relatively good time.    Vanny should have came out. Chances are he was chained up in his closet with a ball gag in his mouth.

So as I am arriving out front of Justins Apartment... I text. I tweet, I text again... no answer.  I find his buzzer number with a " little help from my friends" and I buzz him. Again  no answer. I literally sat for almost 20 minutes waiting for this guy.  I was thinking to myself. he either fell asleep.  is trying to grab a late shower quickly, or rubbing one out.  ( yes justin, I thought of you masturbating.  I know you would crush Bri Olson GAHAHAA)

Nope. instead he forgot about me and was yappin on facetime.  his explanation was good enough to give us both a good laugh and life went on.  he bought me a few drinks for my troubles, and im grateful for that.

hoping to hit up Goos here in town next weekend with him and Vanny if he can get out.  one taste and you both will realize the power of the poutine here.  the service is excellent , the cost is fair. and you get your gullet stuffed.

whats on the agenda tonight?  who knows.  I got ditched by a friend already who was coming down from brampton,  go figure. so I have no clue as to how my time will be spent.   maybe grab a few beers either from the LCBO or a bar and find a place to chill.   its pretty shitty weather out today so frisbee golf is out of the question.

Rey.. get a haircut.   it was rather stylin' however.



over and out.

Friday, May 6, 2011

mashing out this post.

I am wired beyond all belief right now.  typing might get kinda sloppy and I will likely neglect to edit the post for spelling and grammar..  just bear? with me.  Kthx

Today I smushed alot of bugs..  enough citronella ants to fill a 5 gallon pail. it smelled awesome.
they smell sooo good in large numbers.. totally makes you think your camping or in a backyard barbeque with citronella candles going. hence the name citronella ants.

I just played some marvel. and did pretty good.  I lack the high level mix ups  but meh. I catch your assist and you both die. GGPO. stop yelling at me over XBL you 14yr old scrub who decided to rent the game because of the cover.

this weekend doesnt look anything like a party weekend..  if its sunny tomorrow, im buying a case of beer and ice and heading to mohawk to play frolf all day. fun sport, need to get better. god save the internet.

I put 30 bones in my car today and got 3/4 a tank... still rape at the pump if you ask me  but such is life and money is just money... unless your the J money...  then in fact you are a person.

Thinking about extending my reaches in this world. havent put live profile on my new torch yet ( god damn i never have to pay another phone bill as long as I work for this company)
and possibly looking at different apps for twitter.  hopefully something that can offer me a little more organization in my feed.  I really dont like seeing 12 tweets from @bluejays in a matter of 5 minutes... then I have to scroll to find stuff thats either amusing or clickable ( thanks noodles... the link master)  and @ fearless_fred.  the only son bitch who replies and has quazi radio celebrity status.

On with the chlorophyll.

thinking about hitting up limeridge tomorrow to possibly grab either mothers day gift or new threads.   momma deserves a gift, but shit... new clothes? well see.   

All girls that work at guess are hot... and its right by booster juice....  so   grab booster juice... sit on bench... watch guess girls... drink to fast and get burps... walk in say your looking for a purse for your "mother" and BAM.. you got digits..    dont belch!

no chance of me hitting up london tap house tonight... Vanny put it in words that made sense. *comments withheld) for sake of privacy.    id like to see how I hold up  but lord knows Ill just get way too drunk to drive home and get stuck sleeping somewhere uncomfortable... like the back of a toyota yaris....  surpisingly roomy  yet I doubt id survive  as the nights are still pretty nippy outside and I dont wanna be without my blanket.

ANyone else have trouble falling asleep without a television?   dont start watching TV to go to bed..  it becomes a crutch and if something exciting happens... your fucked.  your awake till 2 am and you need to be up at 6 just so you have time to take a shit and shower... dont bother shaving because your going to fuck up the design you have immaculately sculpted onto your un chiseled jaw and ended up shaving the whole god damn surface of your skull naked... ending up with pimples on your god damn crown.   imagine that...  ( not an actual happening)

so overall.. rough week.   lots of work.. extra hours.  lost paperwork. make a fuckload of extras boosting my sales to likely over 1k a day.. which is decent... actually thats pretty good for being on the road and killing shit most the time. 

lets get some drinks.                    SHOOOO

Saturday, April 30, 2011

With the Exception of audio.

This week went surprisingly fast. The easter weekend that allowed me a 4 day holiday really messed up my schedule at work and I was behind a day and really had to bust ass friday to get caught up, new month = restart the process. so with the changes I have made to my monthly schedule hopefully the first two weeks of persistence, hard work and extra hours will get me to a point where I have enough time during the rest of the month to take on some extra jobs and push some sales about.

For those of you who do not know, I am an exterminator, and am very proud of my job. Its not something you think you want to be until you give it some time and try it, and I must say, being the person I am, the work fits my persona really well. Everyday is a learning experience, you see something you don't normally see with an office job, and people tend to be really grateful for your knowledge and expertise in clearing out whatever bug mess they have incurred.

My weekend consists of a retirement party for the man who's shoes I am filling ( which is easy. he wore a size 8... baby feet). I think bringing in some new blood to the company is really beneficial, we can develop long term customers who will get to know me, and develop strong relationships and hopefully gain some referrals or extra business from them.

Its was kind of nice to see the old bastard at his party. However, all he wanted to do was talk about works and contracts he has serviced for 20 years or so. Its time to let it go buddy, rather frustrating to field his questions and not wanting to talk about work outside of work, as much as I love it, it can be stressful at times and prefer to leave the office at the office.

Tonight is the big canadian UFC night, im sure its going to have some great fights and hopefully we can get more of these events into the great white north. The shear volume of ticket sales should be enough to bring Dana White and the boys back to town at least ONCE a year, but who knows. America is just as hungry for MMA as the rest of us and im sure the good ol' U.S of A has plenty a bigger stadiums with grander ticket sales =/

I stopped following MMA about a year or two ago. It just blew up, and my personality led me to be the one person who stopped giving a shit, and trudged on not caring.  IT WAS MY SPORT, and I was pissed that everyone and their grandmothers began to watch it. Its great to see it blow up, but with a Judo and Brazilian ju-jitsu background it was my niche. I could watch the fights and love every second of  ground game I got to see. The transitions and escapes, all done on the fly. Sure the game plan is set, but you really need to put in the mental work and out think your opponent, pull something unique off, unless a bread and butter transition from one submission to another was a sure bet, you really need to be creative and get your feint on so your opponent rolls or shifts weight the wrong way and lock that final sub down.

When I started in BJJ, I went with a friend to his dojo. He had attended somewhere around eight to ten classes prior to my visit, and had learned some basics with posting and shrimping up to gain some leverage which eventually leads into one of the many holds, chokes, and locks that enable you to win.
I sat patiently in a chair behind a railing and watched every move, absorbing the instructions that were given to the class and when the next week rolled around, I got my first free class, signed the waver for injury, and went to town. 
A Gi was lent to me from the instructor, I tossed it on, bowed into the dojo, and gave it my all.
The instructor was really impressed that I had taken so much from just watching the first time I attended and had stated that he was shocked that just from watching I could take what I had witness and apply it practically while "rolling".

I continued a few more classes and dropped out. I really enjoyed it, but my job at the time kind of got in the way, as well as some other things.

About a year later, the dojo had moved and because of the big explosion MMA had made, so did the class sizes.  Bryan remembered who I was and Dan brought me back to see the new dojo and sit in on a class.
Most of the same people were in attendance, and even though I wasn't attending classes, I still kept up with my friend Dan and trained in his or my basement on carpeted floors on and off for the passing year.

Most of the familiar faces I had also known from around town, as bouncers at certain bars during weekend shows, etc, and really had a good time rolling with them again,  to most peoples dismay, I could keep up and usually squirm out and get into a north-south or half mount with ease.
New people were commissioned to run "the gauntlet" at the end of the night, as a sort of "hazing" ritual.  this was my second time running the gauntlet, and now I was more experienced and physically stronger (although not by much)

So I drank some water, waited for my turn and my belly to settle so I didnt piss myself and off I went.
I rolled with 14 people, including the instructor. for 5 minutes a piece.  Thats 5 minutes from standing to ground position just trying to get as many taps as humanly possible... all the while trying not to burn yourself out as your climbing the ladder of opponents you had to face.

By the end of it, I was toast. I could barely stand up and trying to catch my breath for a good hour.
your body is sore from trying to brutishly overpower people, and also from being turned into a pretzel for 70 minutes.

So I kept up with the training until I decided, meh, its been fun again and basically just didnt want to pay fees anymore. A few of the guys from class actually branched out and started a MMA/Fitness centre in town called the caged dragon, and chances are it is closed now.

My love for the ground game probably comes from "wrastlin" with my cousins and friends when I was young and growing up in the country, sure we would get in trouble from parents for screwin around in the house or in the backyard. Ive only ever had 2 fights go personal and both times I walked away from them without a problem.  One guy took a foot straight to the chest which caused some problems with his health for a good two weeks. the other guy just burned him self out until I let him go and walked away.

I wont say Im proud of that, but winning feels good and Im not really one for drama/fighting at bars/clubs... unnecessary violence looks douchy and is generally a faux pas.

On a higher note, I did my taxes and thanks to school, I am getting a decent return. It will be nice to have some play money... hell I might even take a vacation somewhere nice for once.

Its been a good week and tonight is shaping up to bring some grandeur fun.

its been swell muchachos   Abiento!

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Robin

As of late, there has been a robin living in the tree infront of my house.  He annoyingly pecks at the window and makes it filthy, and no matter how close you are to him ( you can sit on the love seat at the window) he just stares back and continues to spread his profuse ammounts of feces and saliva all over my sil, and window.

Those of you who might now understand the measure that had to be taken, I went to great lengths and although I have to say, twas cruel and barbaric. I shot this bird dead with a paintball gun today at 11:24 am EST.

God rest your annoying soul, maybe one day we can celebrate your rising from the grave and your assumption
into heaven. just like our main homeboy J-Christ.

On with the blog.

Its been a while since I updated a blog with anything relevant, I would like to think that right now my life is in a good career state. but everything else just seams like chaos. 
Selection of the female will likely be my downfall. the stress of decided on which to pick is insane.

Hot career girl that lives 80km away.
cute party animal that will likely end up leading a life of not being responsible enough to own a house.
and the last one....  lets just say shes my counterpart.

Im considering option A, as she just got back from vacation and now we can possibly figure things out.



Off girls onto weekends.
I played poker for the first time this saturday.  accompanied by a giant bottle of rum.
I managed to play in with a joke hand of paying 10cents to get my minimum big blind.  I win the hand.  I am intrigued,    I then decide to buy in legitimately.
I played pretty good i believe but the amount of intoxication and my ignorance to the rules had me asking other players if I had a good hand or not.   I think i have a better grasp on it now and would enjoy the occasional poker evening mixed with tasty beverages.

when your so drunk that every hand is a bluff and you survive long enough to decide "fuck it, im going home" i would like to think I am a natural.



And I got to rock a 4 day weekend, to those who didnt. my sincerest apologies.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Coffee. Life essence turned Vile.

SO.... heres the low down.  I drank my first cup of coffee at the age of 12.  I made a thermos full of instant coffee and took it to school.

I had not tasted, only smelled the rich aroma that seamed to linger through peoples homes, and everyone was drinking it.

I put the recommended amount of granules into the thermos, poured in my boiling water, and added milk and sugar.   The consensus was that after I took my first sip, I dumped the coffee out and decided that this was not for me.
    During a brief two year stint as a plumber out of highschool, my boss would take coffee orders and I would get hot chocolate. Everyone I had worked with at the time questioned my motive and eventually after a mistaken "theres no hot chocolate here for kyle..."   I drank a coffee and I didnt mind it.

I continued to drink the substance that seamed to grow on me ( much like beer, it grows on you.)
 and here we are today, me drinking a double double every morning and possibly 2-4 times a day depending on work schedules and availability of said substance.

anyone who drinks coffee can tell when they get a good cup, or a bad cup.  The standard in Canada is Tim Hortons. where people flock to in the mornings to get their cup of brown water that tastes like mud.
I do the same, so I am guilty myself.

Not until my early twenties did I know what was a good cup or bad cup.  I know which stores in town have decent java, and which dont, and some I cant even trust to drink the stuff. ( the shady, creepy restaurants that my co-worker seams to think I want to go to.)
Burned coffee tastes burned.  bad coffee is bad. expensive coffee is a status symbol and anything else is not coffee.




This is an example of the industry today.

The day that Tacobell starts serving the nectar... is the day I stop drinking it.  Im sure the image speaks for itself, although maybe not the most artistic, rather more autistic than so. this is the way society lives today, for that single cup of oil and water that seams to me, the most addictive and fulfilling substance on earth.
Mind you I have never smoked crack, nor ever will try to prove it myself scientifically that crack is less addictive than coffee.  Im just pressing a point.

Tim hortons coffee is bad.  we drink it everyday, and thats all their is to it.  sometimes you get a cup and you say "wow. this is fucking incredible... why cant they do this everytime? really... they just push buttons that release measured amounts of cream and sugar... what the fuck is wrong with these people?"

Most of the time... the coffee is bad.  I would rather wake up and brew a pot myself, grab my travel mug, and make a shitty mixture of columbia house, just to save the $1.52.   Thats not what I do.   I buy the timmies, everyday  between 8:30 and 8:45, because thats when I manage to get a block away from my office.

Will I ever drink subways coffee?  Maybe if I bought breakfast there after a night of binge drinking... still.  Seattles best likely rivals mother parker in quality.... now I dont know if you folks know this, but mother parker is a leacherous tramp, who sells cocaine to gradeschool children and put small pox in the blankets that were given to countless native tribes back when Canada was invaded by the English and Americans.

Starbucks: your standard roast is shit. I pay you 3 dollars for a large and you make me put my own additives into the cup. Its a Scam and a status symbol. Yet I purchase your caramel machiatto's because they are simply divine.  Your company is so well off that you dont even have to market yourselves in Canada, because in 1996, a prime time television cartoon sitcom made you famous in every Canadian household. that cartoon was The Simpsons.
Bart and Milhouse went to the mall, yet everystore was closed down and being converted to a starbucks according to the Janitor....   I have watched that episode maybe 3 times in my life, yet I will never forget that scene. Whenever I hear or think of starbucks... I recall that clip and now being older, can finally grasp what it meant.    YOU MUST DRINK OUR COFFEE.

So what purpose does it serve in your life?
In mine its a morning drink, a "pick-me-up" that doesnt seam to do anything to my body, and a social reprieve that is an easy go to option for: A - Dating,  B- catching up.  Its a drink you grab when your going to be in the car for more than 20 minutes or your going to visit someone at their residence and bring one to them.

The fact of how addicted we are to this substance is crazy. I have one friend who doesnt drink coffee.  he drinks a Tea when we arrive at work. ONE. only one a day.  He smokes cigarettes yes.
When I asked him why he doesnt drink coffee he told me this.  " I dont know, I think I have enough addictions in my life that I dont need to take on another one."
that guy is fucking smart.
S M A R T.    not SMRT.  thanks.

So to shorten the vibe, heres the summary.

Keep drinking coffee.  IT SHAKES YOUR LIVER. literally. the jolt you feel is actually the liver trying to process the liquid you just ingested and if you drink enough in one sitting, you can actually feel it.  Chances are you have before and didnt know what it was and just shook it off, ive felt it. It was cool and I say that without hesitating.

Next time you have a cup... think about it in a way your normally wouldn't.  Smell the coffee, taste it without cream, milk, sugar or sweetener.  Try different blends. At home. not from a store. perk it properly. you may be surprised.  perhaps your a columbian drinker, or a RICH, or DARK, or whatever specialty coffee's you may find at vendors.  You dont have to be a barrista  to know what a good cup tastes like to you, so get out there and try what you can.


BTW I had perogies for dinner tonight.   KTHXBAI